Perhaps...

I'm reading a really interesting book. It's called "Six Essentials to Achieve Lasting Recovery," by Dr. Sterling Shumway and Dr. Thomas Kimball.

I'm not an addict. Unless you count substance abuse of chocolate and Diet Coke. And I do come from a long line of alcoholics.

But I digress. This book is written to families and loved ones, as well as addicts themselves. Each of these six priniciples has universal applications to everyone - which is what I found so surprising. I was kind of expecting another 12 Step treatise. It's different, and somehow even more personal, than that.

Dr. Shumway - who I presume was an addict at one time - shares a story about how he re-enrolled in college after several years. As a returning student, he left a profitable career and brought a wife and children back to academia with him. To hear him tell it (can you do that in a book?), after the first day of school he had a full-blown attack of what the @#$% have I done??!

Well, I'm not going to tell you how it ends. But it really made me think about all the "perhaps" talks I have with myself. Could the nature and substance of our lives really change by altering the way we speak to ourselves? I'm not sure but I'm certainly willing to become my own test subject.


Disclosure: Tom Kimball sent me this book for free. But I promise to buy him a burger next time I'm at Texas Tech.

Stress Test

I hit the wall today. Yep. A full-on head first crash into the wall of no return - or at least it feels that way.

The pressure of work and church responsibilities, family worries, and school concerns all combined to overload my brain to the point of undiluted frustration. No amount of chocolate, Diet Coke, or other comfort food could, in fact, comfort me.

Funny. My melt down comes as I'm reading Chrsty Matta's book, "The Stress Response." Matta claims it's not stress that's bad for us. It's our bodies reaction to stress that's bad for us.



Duh. I could tell you that even before I bought the book. And I'm not even a therapist.

My current stress relief comes in two main forms - food and hiking. Not necessarily in that order. And when those two fail me then I'm really in deep trouble.

Matta says when you're stressed you need to take an inventory of how you're feeling. What's happening with your body? How are you breathing? Are you hot or cold? Jumpy? Washed out?

Then she says you should take inventory of your head. Not whether or not it's still on your shoulders, but what's happening in your brain. What are you thinking about? Are your thoughts rushing through your brain like a freight train? Do they jump from one subject to another? I don't know what I'm supposed to do after I take these notes. Maybe wad them up and throw them at someone or something. I guess I learn that when I read a little farther in the book.

I know the book is based on using DBT skills - or dialectical behavior therapy. I know a little about DBT because one of my colleagues, Craig Smith at Discovery Ranch, uses it with his troubled teen clients. It's something about being mindful and letting choices, not emotions, govern your actions. I don't know much about DBT but Craig's the therapist, not me.

Tomorrow I'll probably feel better. I'll clean off my desk, dust off my determination, and shift the kaleidoscope of my emotions just enough to make me see my world in a different light.

Right now I'm wishing I had a brownie to go with my Gatorade. And it's way too hot for a hike. If you've got a better stress reliever, please share! Just do so at a safe distance.

Race Relations 101

I love Saturdays! Not for the usually reasons of time away from work or time to goof around. Almost every Saturday my grandchildren come to spend the morning. Olivia, 4, and Davis, 18-months, are the light of my life.

We make a big deal out of our Saturday get-togethers. We carefully plan the breakfast menu. Bacon or sausage? Blueberries or strawberries? Cookies for "tea"? We wonder if the weather will be nice enough for a walk. Should we go to the farm store again and see the baby chicks? Livi and D are the only things on my "To do" list for the entire morning.

Sometimes our agenda includes playing with my backyard neighbors, Ashley and Tyson. At eight and five, they're a little older than my grandchildren but the kids don't seem to care. Livi is almost as tall as Ashley. Tyson is a gentle shepherd when it comes to keeping Davis out of trouble. They never let age get in the way of having a good time. Evidently they don't let race matter either.

As I was supervising a good time on the trampoline, Livi commented to Tyson, "I'm black." Gesturing to Davis she added, "He's black. And you're white." Tyson's reply, "Yup."

End of discussion. Beginning of understanding.

Learning through Living

I work for a company that provides help for troubled teens and their families. I'm not a therapist. I'm not a counselor. Most of the time I'm not even a very good mom. Fortunately, they don't factor that in when considering my job performance.

But I often learn interesting things about parenting in general and teen therapy in particular. So I've decided that since I'm not claiming to be an expert on anything, I'm going to start sharing the little stories I run across in the course of my daily work.

Join me in my journey and leave your two-cents worth.

Here's my one of my favorite teen help stories. It's a video about an abandoned horse named DJ. It shows you what awesome people I work with. And really, how great is it to have a job where you can share stories like this?

http://oxbowacademy.net/video?id=rESb3-y8p8U