Facebook or Face Time?

I read an article recently by the Associated Press about how family time in the United States is dwindling. According to a study by the Annenberg Center for the Digital Future, "28 percent of Americans interviewed last year say they have been spending less time with members of their households. That's nearly triple the 11 percent who said that in 2006."

The article continues, "The decline in family time coincides with a rise in Internet use and the popularity of social networks. Facebook has more than 200-million users, up from 100-million last August."

Think about it. When was the last time you had a conversation of any length or meaning with the people you live with? I get more information from my teenaged son in a text message than I do a dinner appearance. Does that mean someday we will sit across the table from one another, speechless, while our fingers do the talking with "friends" across the world?

Quoting the AP article again, Michael Gilbert, a senior fellow at the Annenberg Center, said, "Most people think of the Internet and our digital future as boundless, and I do too. But it can't be a good thing that families are spending less face-to-face time together. Ultimately it leads to less cohesive and less communicative families."

Time to tame the technology.

Celebrating life

June is typically a month filled with graduations of all kinds - preschool, middle school, high school and college. Yesterday I attended a graduation unlike any other. It was at Oxbow Academy.

Only one student was graduating. His favorite teacher, his therapist, and a fellow student all spoke. Then his father took the podium. Battling back tears, this man stood for several minutes trying to compose himself. When he was at last able to speak, this is what he said:

"A year ago at this time I thought the chances of attending your funeral were much greater than attending your high school graduation. I am so proud of you. I am so thankful for this place and for how far you've come."

The graduate had been sexually abused for years as a small child by a trusted neighbor. In turn, he lashed out with anger and abuse to young children within his family circle. In desparation over what had been done to him, and what he had done to others, he attempted to take his own life. No one discovered his secret and no one knew how to help him - until now.

His past is filled with pain and regret and mistakes that can't easily be righted nor ever fully repaired. As for his future, that remains to be seen. His family and many members of his community are ready to welcome him home with open arms and a detailed relapse prevention plan.

So the boy who stands on the threshold of the future leaves Oxbow and re-enters life. His high school diploma, as difficult as it was to earn, is the least of his accomplishments. He has survived brutal abuse, sought help for his own victims, and battled every day for more than a year to understand what happened, why, and how to end it forever.

This is a graduation to remember.

Ordinary People

It's the end of a slightly tempestuous summer day. The weather has little to do with the storm brewing in my own home. My 17-year-old son is out of school and, since he has no formal job, I've taken it upon myself to make sure his summer consists of more than "hanging out."

Today my version of summer vacation consisted of pulling the mouldings off the walls in the office, filling the nail holes, and preparing for a new paint job. His version had something to do with ESPN, txt, and ATM.

I'm convinced a productive, happy life involves more than acronyms. And therein lies the disagreement - and one more hole to patch. My son punctuated his exasperation with a wall smack that was much more aggressive than a high five.

I chose my blog name not because I consider myself an excellent parent, but because I'm always looking for ways to do a better job at the only job I believe really matters - being a great parent.

Share your experience and maybe we'll all get better at it.